Maybe
by Merderfever
Summary: Meredith found out she was pregnant shortly after Derek chose Addison in season two. She didn't want to complicate things, so she left Seattle and never told him. She started a new life in Harrah, Washington. Future Merder.
1. Chapter 1

_I own nothing. No spoilers or anything. This is just a story I made up._

_**Characters**_

_Meredith Grey_

_Lilly Elizabeth Grey-_ Meredith's and Derek's daughter. She is two. she looks a lot like Derek. There is no denying she is his. Meredith is super protective of her and is thankful for her every day.

_Carla Reynolds-_ Meredith's roomie in Harrah. They met at Harrah Memorial where Meredith started her internship, but when Carla failed her exam for residency, she dropped out of the program and is now going to school for something else ( I haven't decided yet). She doesn't take a lot of classes, so Carla watches Lilly most of the time while Meredith works.

November 21, 2008

Harrah, Washington

Meredith had just got done working her shift at the hospital and was tired. She walked to the locker room, changed and walked out the doors of the hospital. It was cold and she should be used to the weather, considering she never lived in a state where it was warm all year round, but she was cold. Harrah was different than Seattle. She tightened her jacket around her and put her scarf closer to her face. She walked to her car, unlocked it and threw her stuff in the back seat. She then got in and smiled as she looked back at the car seat sitting to the left her vision through the mirror. She smiled because even though she was tired, she was going home with the best two year old ever. The two year old that got her through her days, the two year old that even when she had the worst day ever at work, still made her smile. She smiled because she was her life. Lilly Elizabeth Grey was her life and she was what made her get up every morning.

When she got home to her apartment, she threw her stuff at the door and walked into the familiar room. She smiled at the sleeping Toddler in the bed. She went over and kissed her on the head. Meredith made sure the little girl was tucked in and then went to the living room.

"How was she?" Meredith asked her roommate Carla, whom Meredith met when doing her internship at Harrah Memorial. Carla dropped out of the program to pursue another career.

"Good as always. You know you don't have to ask every time. She is very well behaved." Carla says

"I know, but it's just that I need to know that she was okay every day, you know. I just need the reassurance."

"Yes, Mer. I know. We go through this every night you get home" She says and they laugh because Meredith knew it was true

Meredith yawns. "I really hate to cut our conversation short, but think I am going to head to bed. I finally have to the day off tomorrow and I think I am going to take the best two year old ever out somewhere."

"That will be nice. She will like that" Carla says

"Yeah it will." she smiles

"Night, Carla." Meredith says

"Night Mer." Carla says

Meredith started to walk to her room, but was stopped by what Carla had said.

"Oh Meredith, I almost forgot to tell you, the rehabilitation center called in Seattle called. It's your mom again. They want you to come visit. They said she has been asking about you and they said it is important you come this time and not call her and…"

Meredith froze as she mentioned Seattle. Memories began to flood into her mind as that city was mentioned. Seattle. Seattle was where her mother was, her true friends were, where Derek was.

"Meredith, you okay?" Carla asked. She knew she wasn't and that is why she stopped talking.

Meredith didn't answer. She was frozen, thinking.

"Meredith!" Carla yelled again

"What?" she says snapping out of it

"Are you okay?" She asks one more time.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to bed."She says. Carla shakes her head as her friend walked back the hall to her room and closed the door. Meredith leaned against her door and let out a sigh

"Seattle."She whispered to herself

Meredith suddenly was reliving memories of Seattle. One stuck out of all of them. The day she begged Derek to choose her, but he didn't. This was the day she remembered as losing the love of her life.

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October 27, 2005

Seattle, Washington

Seattle Grace

Meredith has just gotten out of a surgery and she finally got the chance to talk to Derek about the whole Addison and her mess. She wanted him to make a decsions and maybe just maybe he would choose her. She wanted him to love her, but knew Derek hadn't made up his mind. She saw him in a lab room and went in.

"Hey." She said quickly as she shut the door behind her

"Hi." He said

She shuffled her feet a bit and then looked at him.

"Listen. I love you in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, an unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

Derek just stared back at her and she remembered feeling as if she would burst into tears, so she left. She told him she loved him and he chose his wife because it was what he thought the right thing to do.

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Harrah, Washington

Present Day

Meredith finally shook the memories that floated from that day and climbed into bed, but she couldn't sleep. Her mind kept going to Derek. She wondered how he was, how he was doing, how he and Addison were making out with their lives, did they have kids, did they even still live in Seattle? Well, she knew they lived in Seattle because she talked to Cristina, but Derek was very enclosed with what had been going on. At least that is what Cristina tells Meredith. The only way she would truly know was if she took a trip back to Seattle herself. It would hurt and she would have to relive more memories, but maybe what she needed was for her story to unveil, for her past to become her present, for her to finally stop running. Maybe just maybe she could be normal.

**This is my first Grey's Anatomy fan fic. Let me give you a bit of a background on this story, but I'm not giving anything away. Meredith found out she was pregnant with Derek's baby shortly after her pick me, choose me, love me speech and when Derek chose Addison, she knew she couldn't tell him. Meredith ended up withdrawing from the internship program at Seattle Grace and moved to Harrah, Washington, which is about two hours away from Seattle. The only people that know her true where abouts are Cristina and the people at the rehabilitaion center where Ellis Grey is. I have a lot to add to this story. Trust me, you are going to want to stay tuned. Please review and be honest.**

**Thanks,**

**Merderfever**


	2. Chapter 2

That night Meredith had a dream, or what to her was a nightmare. She was in the hospital, giving birth to Lilly. All through her pregnancy she had complications and she knew Lilly would be early. Lilly ended up coming a month and half sooner than expected.

"I'll go check on her and see what I can do. I might have to do a C- section, providing the way the baby is coming along." A voice said. Meredith knew that voice, but she couldn't make out who it was. She laid there in pain as she heard the clip clop of heels walk down the hall. The curtain pulled back and there was her doctor.

"Hi I'm doctor…" The doctor froze and stared at Meredith

"Addison?" Meredith asked, she knew they had to get a specialist to deal with her pregnancy because she needed more prenatal attention than Harrah Memorial could offer, but Addison? They called her in from Seattle to come deal with her case? Why?

"Hi." Addison said as she looked at Meredith.

They both looked at each other awkwardly for a minute. They both had so much to say, but neither one would talk.

"Snap out of it Addison. She is your patient no matter what." Addison told herself and then she smiled at Meredith

"So, what seems to be the problem?" Addison asked

"uh well, I think I am in labor." Meredith said matter of factly

" I have been having a lot of pressure and I'm in a lot of pain. I'm only seven and a half months though. It's too soon." Meredith says, uncomfortably.

"Well, unfortunately we don't get to choose when the baby comes, so let's have a look huh? I'll be able to tell you what is going on with further examination"

Meredith nodded as Addison took the stool and sat down at the bottom of the bed and examined her. Meredith lay back on the bed as she was examined. Addison looked up at Meredith when she was finished.

"Well, it appears that the baby is indeed ready to come, but you aren't ready to push yet. You are only five centimeters dilated. I am going to go and look at your charts and I will be back okay?" Addison said to Meredith.

Meredith nodded and Addison left, pulling the curtain back.

Meredith sat straight up in bed. She was breathing heavy. She wouldn't have been so freaked out if this hadn't indeed happened to her. This would have been a nightmare to her with any other dream, but only to her it was true. She was reliving another horrible memory. She was reliving her daughters birth and the doctor who delivered her. This brought forth more questions. Did she tell Derek? She had to have known the baby was Derek's, but would Addison do that? She had to get her mind off of it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She was of course going to still thinking of Seattle, but mostly Derek. How couldn't she after her dream she just relived? She sighed as she climbed out of bed and went into the living room where Lilly was watching TV with Carla. Lilly turned around as she heard Meredith walk into the room.

"Mommy!" The two year old yelled happily as she ran to her, giving her a big hug as Meredith scooped her into her arms.

"I missed you so much Lilly." Meredith says and hugs her daughter tight. She hated being away from her and working long shifts at the hospital didn't help with that. The time they had together they both enjoyed.

"Me miss you too." Lilly said. She could talk very well for her age, which Meredith loved, but then sometimes she hated. She sometimes hated it because Lilly could talk and talk, even when Meredith wanted her to be quiet.

Meredith smiled and laughed, "So what are you watching?" She asks

"Sesame Street." Lilly said simply

Meredith shook her head. Of course she was watching Sesame Street. That was all Lilly watched. Meredith sat down on the couch with Lilly and watched the program with her. When the program was over Lilly looked up to Meredith and smiled.

"Mommy, you go to work?" She asked sadly

"Actually, mommy has off today, so I was thinking just me and you could go somewhere fun. How about that?" She asked

"Can we go to the zoo?" Lilly asked

Meredith laughed. Lilly loved the zoo. She loved all animals for that matter. It was no surprise that Lilly asked to go to the zoo. It would be their seventh trip to the zoo that month.

"Yes, we can go to the zoo, but we need to dress warm because it's cold out." Meredith says

"Come on lets go get you dressed and we will go." She says

As they walked back the hall to Lilly's room, Meredith flashed back to her nightmare. This time it was the real day. The day she gave birth to Lilly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

September 19, 2006

"So, as you said you are about seven and a half months along." Addison said as she looked over Meredith's chart.

"I'm going to be monitoring you for the next hour or so. You aren't going to be pushing or anything any time soon and I want you to know I will do everything to make sure you and your baby is okay."

"Thanks." Meredith said

Addison nodded as she walked away, but she turned back.

"Is there anyone you want me to call? A friend...The father?" she asked

"No. I'm fine. Besides the father doesn't even know I'm pregnant." She says

Addison nodded. She knew Addison knew who the father was and Addison knew Meredith knew. It was Derek's baby and neither one was going to talk first.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Present Day

Lilly's room

"Mommy." Lilly said, snapping Meredith out of her trance

Lilly had a pair of purple pants and a green and pink Gap shirt out.

"This cute?" She asked

Meredith laughed. "Well, you might look like a rainbow sweetie. How about you wear these?" She suggests, pulling out a pair of Children's Place jeans.

"No. These" She said holding the purple pants. Demanding that she be allowed to wear what she wanted. She got her strong willed personality from Meredith and sometimes she wished she wouldn't have inherited it.

Meredith sighed and nodded, finally allowing her to wear what she wanted.

"Fine. Wear those." She said. She knew Lilly definitely didn't get her clothing style from her. The outfit was definitely not going to match. The style thing she got from Derek.

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed. You all are amazing. I would thank you all indivually, but there are just too many. One thing I want to point out is it may take me a while sometimes to upload to due to writing a new chapter, or my schedule. Please understand that I don't want to make my readers wait for updates, but I am ending my third semester in college right now, so I have finals to study for. I also work, so that is a part of my schedule as well. However, I will do whatever it takes to update as soon as I can. In the mean time, please review this chapter. Let me know where you want to see this story go. I'm always up for ideas. Thanks.**


	3. Chapter 3

Meredith and Lilly spent the day at the zoo, looking at almost every animal there. Lilly would not let them leave until she saw all the monkeys, which were here favorite animal. Once back home, Lilly was taking a nap, so Meredith took the time she had to give a friend a call. A friend she knew needed a call, Cristina.

"Hello." The voice on the other end said as the phone was answered.

"Cristina, it's me, Meredith."

"Yeah, your name came up on my phone. What's up?" She asked

"Nothing. Lilly is sleeping, so I thought I would give you a call. You know catch up and everything." Meredith says

"Oh well, nothing new to report here. Just the same old thing every day, nothing new. Surgery after surgery." Cristina said, which didn't surprise Meredith

"Oh, well at least you are keeping yourself busy." Meredith says

"Yeah."

"Hey, listen. I think I may be making a visit to Seattle." Meredith throws out

"What? Really?" She asks

"Yeah. My mother wants me to come see her and I don't know maybe I should, but the thing is what if I run into Derek?"

"So, what if you do?"

"He hasn't seen me in two years Cristina." Meredith reminds her

"And your point is?"

"He doesn't know about Lilly." Meredith says

"Mere, would it be so horrible if he found out?"

"I don't know, maybe, yes, I don't know." She says confused

"He is married." Meredith adds.

"Actually, they are in the process of a divorce. I didn't want to tell you, but it's getting pretty bad."

"What?!" Meredith asks surprised.

"Yeah they…" Cristina says, but trails off.

"Hey listen, McDreamy needs me to scrub in on a surgery, guy with nail shoved into head. May affect speech. I'll call you later." She says, forgetting about the divorce conversation

"Cristina!" Meredith yells. Too late. Cristina had hung up.

Meredith tosses the phone on the bed and lays her head back on the pillow.

"Divorce?" She asks herself and she thinks.

"Maybe he can be my McDreamy again?" She asks herself, but then thinks, he would never forgive her for how she treated him the day she left, or when he finds out Lilly is his. Would she actually get McDreamy back? She closed her eyes as she relived another memory.

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March 12, 2006

Seattle Grace

Meredith had pulled Derek into an on call room and had to talk to him. She was pacing back and forth not sure how to tell him what she wanted to tell him. She wasn't even going to tell him, but she thought it would be good that he knew.

"Meredith, what is going on?" He asks as he watched her pace back and forth.

"Nothing. It's nothing." She lied

"Come on." He says, taking her arm gently. "Tell me what's going on.

"Please don't touch me like you care about me." She says

"I do care about you." He says sympathetically.

"No, no you don't. You don't care about me and you don't get to play games with my heart. You chose your wife, therefore, you don't get to touch me the way you used to." She says frusterated.

"I'm sorry. Tell me what is going on and I will stop."

"I'm leaving." She blurts out

"Leaving ?" He asks

"Leaving." She confirms

"Where? To go home? Because if you pulled me in here to tell me that, then that is…"

"Leaving Seattle Derek. I'm leaving! I withdrew from the program this morning. I need a new start and a new life and I can't do that here." She says, interrupting his thoughts.

"Come on. Don't be ridiculous." He says

"No you come on. You don't get to tell me what to do, or state your opinion. I poured my heart out to you and you didn't choose me. You chose your wife and you chose to love her. You didn't pick me, you picked her. So, you don't get to tell me to stay, you don't get to try and stop me. I'm leaving tonight." She says and walks toward the door.

"Meredith." He says and she turns around

"What?" He asks and he walks up to her, placing a hand on her cheek and kisses her softly

Meredith pulls away immediately.

"Stop doing that!" she says and then leaves, slamming the door behind her.

She stood against the wall, just outside, touching her lips, as a stray tear ran down her cheek.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meredith opened her eyes and then wiped her tears away the she shed while she was thinking back to that day. She knew she hurt Derek that day, but he hurt her. She was bound to hurt him even more when he found out about Lilly and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She did know that she had to go to Seattle weather she liked it or not. She would put in for time off and take a week or so to go visit her friends and as much as she didn't want to, her mother. Meredith took a deep breath and eventually found herself taking a nap too.

Two weeks later Meredith and Lilly were in the car heading toward Seattle. Meredith called Cristina and she knew they were coming, but Meredith knew she couldn't say with her because there was no room, so Meredith was staying at a hotel.

"Mommy, we go away?" Lilly asked from the back seat 30 minutes into their car ride to Seattle

"Yeah we are going a little vacation" She said.

"Acation?" She says, trying to say vacation.

Meredith laughed and nodded.

"That's right little Grey, vacation. Just me and you."

Lilly smiled and within 10 minutes she was asleep.

Meredith kept driving. She actually liked that Lilly was sleeping. It gave her more time to think. She had to think what she was going to say to her mother, who probably wouldn't even know who she was. She had to think what she was going to say to her friends like Izzie and Geroge , who didn't know she was coming back, let alone where she lived. Most of all she had to think what she would say to Derek if she did run into him. Meredith must have been thinking for awhile because her ride went faster than she thought. She was crossing a bridge and on the other side was Seattle. She took a deep breath and began to cross the bridge. She had a feeling that crossing that bridge had a bit of irony in it because it was as if she was crossing a bridge as well, a new bridge in her life. She was returning home for the first time in two years.

She crossed the bridge and was now sitting at a stop light. She could see the hospital, where she once worked at, once fell in love at, once thought she would never leave.

She sighed

"Seattle." She said out loud

**As promised I am updating ASAP. lol. I hope you are enjoying this because I may not be able to update as fast this weekend. I will be studying for finals. =/**


	4. Chapter 4

"Seattle." Meredith said out loud

She sighed as she drove through the green traffic light. She knew she was going to have to drive passed the hospital, but she didn't want to and she didn't know another way to go to get to her hotel. She took a deep breath and began to drive slowly passed. Luckily the only person outside waiting on an ambulance was Isobel Stevens and what Meredith could only think to be her interns, standing there, looking afraid. Meredith smiled. Izzie was going pretty good after all. She had to remember to ask Cristina about her later.

As she passed the hospital, Izzie thought she has seen Meredith drive by, but then she thought she was seeing things. The sirens began to ring and Izzie and the interns stood on their toes as Izzie looked and definitely saw the blue jeep turn a corner.

"Meredith." Izzie whispered.

"Who?" Shaun, one of Izzie's interns asked.

"Oh, um, no one. Stop asking question and get your ass moving." She yelled to her interns and looked back to see if she saw the car again, but nothing. She shrugged and got to work.

Meredith finally got to her hotel and was checked in and everything. Lilly was still asleep and Meredith had laid her down on the bed, gave her her Tinker bell blanket and cup and turned on the TV on low and settled down to relax.

Later that night, Meredith ordered a pizza because she didn't feel like taking Lilly out in the weather, with it being so cold in Seattle at the time of the year. She took a slice from the box, cut it up and sat it down in front of Lilly, who was in her booster seat at the table.

"Here you go sweetie, pepperoni." Meredith says and grabs a piece for herself and sits down with her two year old. Lilly wasn't starting to eat.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Meredith asks, knowing something was wrong if Lilly wasn't eating because Lilly loved to eat.

"My tummy not happy." She says

"Your tummy is not happy?" Meredith asks with a laugh.

"Maybe you should eat some pizza. I bet it would help and make that belly feel like there is a party in there." She says

"Yuck." She says and pushes it out of the way.

"You have to eat. Try a bite." Meredith says.

After Meredith said that, Lilly puked on the floor. Meredith felt bad for saying Lilly was basically lying.

"Lilly." Meredith says and goes over to her, grabbing a trash can.

"Get it all out in here sweetie. "She says and takes her daughter and holds her, rubbing her tiny back. Lilly began to cry because she was scared, not knowing what's going on. She continued to throw up for about five minutes.

Meredith hugged her close when she was finished and rubbed her back, but then noticed Lilly was really hot and sweaty.

"Lilly, honey, does your tummy still feel bad?" she asks

Lilly only nods, falling asleep in Meredith's arms, or what she thought was falling asleep.

Meredith felt Lilly's forehead and gasped. "Oh my God!" Meredith said out loud

"I need to get her to the hospital!" She says and grabs Lilly's coat and throws it on her. She could tell by the way Lilly was feeling and her symptoms that something was not right. She wasn't sure what it was, but she knew with being a doctor at all that something was not right. Lilly had passed out in her arms, but still had a pulse. The only hospital near was Seattle Grace, where she would have to take her.

She made sure Lilly was bundled up and ran out the door, forgetting her own jacket. She buckled Lilly in the car seat, got in the front seat and sped as fast as she possibly could to the hospital. Panic mode had set in for her majorly. She was scared, not of running into Derek, but for her daughter. She didn't know what was going on.

They got to the hospital about five minutes later and Meredith rushed in.

"I need help!" she said with Lilly in her arms, threshold style.

The familiar faces of Seattle Grace turned to look at her. There stood Miranda Bailey, Isobel Stevens, Alex Karev, and George O'Malley.

"Meredith Grey?" Bailey asked and ran over to her, with interns grabbing a gurney.

"What's going on?" She asked as they wheeled Lilly down the hall.

"I...I...don't know. We were eating dinner and she said she didn't feel well and before I knew it she was sick and passed out." She said

"Oh okay. We are going to have to do some tests and what not. Can you please tell me her mother or father, so we can contact them." Bailey said, not knowing that Meredith had a baby. She just knew Meredith moved to a new hospital.

"Her mother is Meredith Grey! Me! I am her mother!" Meredith screams, afraid, like any normal mother would be.

Bailey was taken back in shock, but snapped out of it to get the little girl to a room. "Oh, well, once we get settled, you will have to figure it out and Meredith, don't worry, we are going to do whatever it takes to help your little girl."

"Lilly." Meredith says.

"Lilly. Bailey says and smiles as they go down the hall into the ER.

Meredith ran with them, but unfortunately, like any other parent, Meredith wasn't allowed in the exam room. She waited outside, and watched through the window. She stood there, shaking and crying, just as Addison Montgomery walked by.

"Meredith?" She asked, looking at her.

"Addison, thank God." She says

"Please, it's Lilly. You have got to go help her." She begs.

"I am on my way in this room right no…" She says and then stops looking in the room.

"That's her. You are going in there with my baby." Meredith says

Addison takes a breath, "I'm going to what I can to figure out what is going on and when I do, I will come find you. Please sit down, calm down, before you end up in the ER as well Dr. Grey." Addison says and Meredith just looks at her.

"I can't calm down! That's my baby in there!" she exclaims

"I know and right now, I am going in, so please calm down." She says and then goes in. Addison rests against the door for a minute to breathe. Meredith Grey was in the hospital with her daughter. Derek's daughter was here. She suddenly found herself flashing back to a night where she and Derek had a serious conversation.

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September 19, 2006

Derek's and Addison's trailer

"I delivered a premature baby girl today." Addison said as she laid there on Derek's chest and he twirled her hair. Addison had gotten back from the hospital about an hour ago and she was exhausted.

"Was she and the mother ok?" He asks

"Couldn't be any better. The baby is healthy and the mother is as well. We had a lot of complications at first, but with an epidural and time, mom was able to push her out. The baby is in the NICU, but she is going to be fine." Addison said and wiped tears away, so Derek wouldn't see, but too late. He had heard her.

"Addie?" He asks

"Why are you crying?" He says, rubbing her back. "It was just another patient. You deal with this all the time."

"Not like this. This mother had complications throughout her whole pregnancy and the little baby survived. It's just so rewarding seeing a baby survive like that and knowing I did it." She says through tears.

"You are an amazing surgeon and OBGYN. I am sure that mother is grateful for your service." He says and hugs her close.

Addison sniffles. "Derek?" She says as she hugs him back

"Yeah?"

She takes a long breathe, "The woman I delivered a baby to today, was Meredith Grey." She says and waits for his response

"What?!" He asks, not sure what to say.

She nods. "She was only seven and a half months along Derek."

"Meredith. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure and I'm also sure that the baby I birthed today is yours Derek." She says still crying.

Derek just sat there in shock and in disbelief.

"You're lying." He says.

"Am I? Do the math Derek. She left six months ago to move to a new hospital. She left because she was pregnant." Addison said

Derek was in shock and not sure what to think. He just looked at his wife in disbelief.

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Seattle Grace

Present Day

"Dr. Montgomery, we need you now." Erin, a neonatal intern said as she was standing by Lilly's side.

She nods and rushed over to her.

About an hour later, she came out and found Meredith, sitting outside against the wall.

Meredith gets up immediately.

"How is she?" Meredith asked

"She is going to be actually. She just has pneumonia. I want to keep her overnight for observation. She is awake now and we are going to move you to a room with her on the children's floor." She says

"Thank you." Meredith says and shakes Addison's hand

"No problem." She says and walks away

"Addison?" Meredith says and she turns around

"Yeah?"

"What caused her to pass out?"

Addison walks back to her. "Oh. That was her body responding to the pneumonia. It's nothing to worry about. Her body just went into shock, but she is fine now."

Meredith nods and Addison begins to walk away again.

"Addison, I don't want…"

She turns around, cutting her off.

"I won't tell Derek you're here, but I can't stop him from running into you."

She nods and smiles, going into her room where Lilly had been moved.

She sits down beside her sleeping daughter and kisses her on the head.

"I'm so glad you are okay." She whispers and then relaxes.

Meanwhile, Isobel Stevens had walked by and decided to walk in.

"Hey." She says

"Hi." Meredith says "How are…"

"You had a baby?" Iz asks.

Meredith nods.

"How old is she?" izzie questions.

"she just turned two in September." Meredith clarifies.

Izzie nods. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" She asks, being blunt

"Because, it wasn't anyone else's business." She says.

"But you just left. You didn't say goodbye to anyone, you just left." Izzie says.

"I'm sorry Izzie. I had to do what I need to do."

Izzie just shakes her head and walks away, stopping at the door.

"Is the baby Derek's?" She asks

Meredith just looks at her and smiles

"Yes." Meredith comes out with.

"She is Derek's daughter."


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith sat in Lilly's room for awhile after Izzie had left. She sat there and thought to herself mainly. She thought about Derek and how at that moment, he was somewhere in the hospital and he could walk into the room and any moment. A part of her wanted to see him, to see his face, to talk to him again, and to be in his arms again, but they a part of her didn't want to see him, didn't want to see his face and didn't want to talk to him because she knew she would have to discuss Lilly and why she never told him about her. She wanted to tell him about her, but when he chose Addison, he seemed like he really wanted to make things right with her and by telling him she was pregnant, she knew she would ruin that for him. She knew if she told him she was pregnant, he would leave Addison right away and she didn't want to do that. She already caused enough damage with them. She sighed and sat there, stroking Lilly's hair back, waiting for her to wake up from her nap. She hated that there was nothing she could do for Lilly right now. She just sat there and looked at her sleeping baby.

About an hour later, Addison came into the room to check on Lilly. Lilly was now awake, watching a Sesame Street video that the hospital put in for her. They brought her in a VCR and hooked it up.

"How is she doing Dr. Montgomery?" Meredith asked

"She is doing really well. She just has a bad case of Pneumonia is all. It really could be because of the change of weather and possibly that this was building up. I do want you to know that she has a weak immune system. She is bound to catch anything that is going around."

"I know that. I've known since she born that she had a weak immune system. She has had so much wrong with her since she was a baby till now. Will she ever be healthy?" Meredith asks

"It's not that she is not healthy Meredith, she just has a very weak immune system." Addison adds

"Then how do you explain her having to get tubes in her ears a year ago?" Meredith asks

"That happens. Most of the time, they will be taken out, or fall out by the child's fourth birthday. You have nothing to worry about with her. Her vitals are good. She is a healthy little girl." Addison adds.

"Thank you. I appreciate everything you are doing." She says

"Even trying to keep Derek away from the room." She adds

"Well, I have been trying, but he knows something is up and he knows when I am lying, so just be prepared if he does find out." Addison says.

"It's okay. I mean I don't expect you to stand by the room the whole time." Meredith says

Addison laughs, "No, I can't exactly do that."

Meredith nods.

"I'm going to go now and I will be back in a few hours to check in. If you need anything…"

"I know Dr. Montgomery, I am a doctor." She reminds her

"Right. I'm sorry and it's Addison. You don't have to call me Dr. Montgomery, Meredith."

Meredith just nods and then Addison leaves.

Addison sat down in the chair outside the room and put her hands to her head.

"God, that little girl is adorable." She mumbled to herself. She knew Lilly looked a lot like Derek, so there was no denying she was his. Lilly had his eyes and nose. She had Meredith's hair color, but a lot of facial features were all Derek. She couldn't help, but to think back to that time she told Derek about Meredith and the baby.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Seattle

September 21, 2006

Addison had just got out of the shower and was getting dressed when Derek walked back in from being outside. She was standing there in her bra and underwear, deciding what to wear for the day.

"Nice outfit." Derek said, as he walked over to her, putting his arms around her

"You really should dress like this more often except maybe a bit more revealing." He said seductively.

She giggled and turned around to kiss him and then backed away.

"I really need to get ready for Derek." She says

"You have all the time in the world." He said as he grabbed her and threw her on the bed playfully, kissing her hard.

"Derek." She moaned and begged for him to stop, but found herself giving in.

He slid her underwear down off her and unhooked her bra. He began to kiss her neck and trail kisses down her body. Addison pulled Derek's head back up and kissing him as he entered her. She moaned again, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, digging her nails into his back.

20 minutes later, they lay there breathless.

"Thanks for that." Derek says and kisses her head

"No problem. Thank you too."

"Anytime baby." He says.

They lay there together for awhile, just being together and enjoying each other. That's when Derek spoke.

"Did you really see Meredith two days ago?" He asks

Addison was shocked and sat up, wrapping herself up in the blanket.

"Yes" she says

"She was pregnant?" Derek asks

Addison nods.

"Explain this."

"I don't know exactly Derek. All I know is I was called to Harrah to deal with her case. She apparently was having trouble with the baby throughout her whole pregnancy."

"Trouble?" Derek asked

"First of all, she didn't know she was pregnant right away and I'm assuming when you broke her heart, she went out and got drunk, so therefore she put the baby at risk. There were also a lot of other things done as well. I had to do amnio centisis due to the amount of fluid. It is just a lot to explain Derek."

"Please continue, Addie." He says

"Okay. Meredith was only seven and half months along when she went into labor. I had to go to deliver the baby because she couldn't get the care there that was needed."

"What did you have to do?" He asks

"Lilly was wrapped around the umbilical cord and if she didn't get the cord off her neck she would have died."

"That's not good." He says

She shakes her head.

"Is that all?" Derek asks

Addison nods. "Yes."

She had lied. She just didn't want to tell him anymore.

They were quiet again for awhile. Then Addison spoke

"I can tell you where she is located if you want to go after her." Addison says

"What?" Derek asks

"She lives in Harrah, not far from the hospital." Addison adds

"I can't go after her."

"Why?" Addison asks

"You." He says

"Forget me. Go. Lilly is your daughter."

"Lilly?" He asks

"Lilly Elizabeth Grey. She looks like you, a lot like you. Don't make be the reason why you don't go after Lilly." Addison says

"I can't!" He says

"Why the hell not? I have told you where she lives and I'm telling you to go. Not many wives are willing to do what I am doing." She says

"Addison, I can't go after them because I can't face Meredith. I can't look at her and then Lilly and see the hurt I caused. I broke her heart. I loved her Addison, love her I mean."

Addison just looked him blankly, not sure what to say. She was living with a man that didn't love her, but didn't want to leave.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Seattle

Present day

"Addison?" a voice said as she was sitting there with her head in her hands. She looked up to see Derek's face

"Oh hi." She says and gets up, realizing he was right outside Meredith's door and could see through the window "What are you doing up here? This isn't exactly your floor."

"Four year old, brain tumor." He adds

"Oh, I am sorry." Addison says.

He nods and goes to walk away, but that is when he saw her through the window and stopped

"Meredith?" He whispered

Addison looked at him and he walked by her.

"Derek, no." Addison said, but it was too late he was already inside the door.

Meredith looked up from the book she was reading to Lilly and her heart stopped. There he was, standing at the door way.

"Derek?" Meredith said

"Meredith." He said and stared at her.

Meredith didn't answer. She just stared back. For awhile that's what they did. Addison finally broke the silence.

"Derek, I think…"

He interrupted her. "Could you please give me and Ms. Grey some privacy?" He asks

"Um sure." She says and backs away.

Addison left and Derek just shook his head at her.

"You know, I imagined what I would say to you when this moment happened. When I would finally see you again, see Lilly and I had this big old speech planned out and I planned to scream at you and demand why you didn't tell me, but I am just going to ask, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" He asks

Meredith took a breath and then spoke. "You chose Addison and I found out after you chose her I was pregnant. I was going to tell you, but then I realized I would just be tearing you away from her again and I knew you wanted to be with her and make things right. I couldn't do that to you."

"But you did do that to me! I loved you Meredith. If you would have told me you were pregnant, we could be happy right now. I would have been with you. Why did you leave?"

"I couldn't stay here being pregnant. You have known eventually." She adds

He just shakes his head. "I can't believe you. There are a lot of things that happened with us and I thought I knew you pretty well, but apparently I don't know you. The Meredith I knew wouldn't have hid this."

"Yes she would have. The Meredith you knew didn't open up remember?"

"That is not the point!" He says, raising his voice.

"My point is I have a daughter. I had a daughter for two years! Those two years I will never get back, Meredith. I know nothing about her!" He says, angry

Meredith just puts her head down "I'm s...sorry." She says

He shakes his head "Forget it. You don't want me to know her."

"I do." She lets out

"Oh yeah? Then tell me something about her. Something I can go on. Something nobody knows." He says

She just looks at him.

"That's what I thought." He says and starts to walk out

"Shepherd." She says

"What?" He says and turns around

"Not you. Lilly. Her last name is really is Shepherd. I tell people it's Grey."

"But, Addison…"

"She never saw the birth certificate." She adds

"Lilly Shepherd is her name." Meredith says

Derek is non-responsive and goes to walk out again, not wanting to talk to her.

"Her favorite color is yellow. She loves to watch Sesame Street and she loves Oscar because she says deep down he has a good heart. She is smart, kind, funny, and reminds me a lot of you. She practices surgeries on dolls. It's cute. She does it for fun though. She wants to be a singer, so she says. Oh and when she was one she had tubes put her ears. She sometimes talks with a lisp, but hasn't lately. She is just so loveable and I do want you to know her. I really do." Meredith says, this time with tears forming.

Derek looks at Meredith

"I want to know her too." He says quietly.

**I'm sorry it took me longer to get an updated chapter up, but I just finished finals and all and worked a lot this past wk. I will be working a lot this week as well, so be patient with me and as soon as i get the chance, I will write the next chapter. I briefly edited this chapter, so I apologigize if there are a lot of grammatical errors. lol. I'm not good with grammar to begin with, so i usually try my best to edit, but this time it was a quick edit in order to get the chapter up. Read, review and enjoy!**

**P.S.- To all my readers, friends, reviewers, Happy Holidays (whatever it be you celebrate this holiday season). God bless. =]**

**-Marybeth**


	6. Author's Note

Hello all readers. As you can see this is not chapter six and I apologize. I am currently working on Chapter 6, but here is the thing, I am having a major writer's block, so I am having trouble writing the next chapter. Be patient with me. This is the first I was able to sit down and think to write in awhile. I have been working eight hour days almost every day over my holiday break and then when I got home I either slept, or went out with friends.

I am asking you all that if you have any suggestions, to please tell me. It could help with my writers block


	7. Chapter 7

"I want to know her to" Those words kept going in and out of Meredith's head as Derek just stood there looking at McDreamy as he waited for a response from Meredith.

"Y...Y...you do?" She asks, finally.

"I do. I want to know her." He says

"There is so much more you have to know, Derek. Her favorite color and favorite television show won't cut it."

"I know that. That is why I am saying I want to know her. She is my daughter."

Meredith nods

"Will you let me know her?" He asks

"Of course I will let you know her."

"How though? You don't live in Seattle. You live in Harrah. That is not exactly close. I can't just come out there every day to see Lilly."

"I know." She says and sighs, looking at him.

They are quiet for a minute and Derek just looks at Meredith. He really did love her and wanted to live his daughter, their daughter. For a moment he imagined those two being together and being happy, a family. It made him smile.

"You could move back." He blurts out after the moment of silence the two shared.

"What?" She asks

"To Seattle, you could move back." He says

"I'm not sure if that would be such a good idea." She says, with no emotion

"Oh. If you don't mind me asking, why?" He asks, curiously.

"Well for one, I have a life in Harrah now. My job is there, my apartment, my roommate is practically my best friend, Lilly's school, basically everything I know now." She says

"You grew up here though." He adds

"It's bad memories." She adds in addition.

He sighs

She sighs as well.

"How can you not be angry with me Derek? I hid this from you. You stand there, tell me to move back, and are not mad? Are you not mad?" She asks

"I'm upset that you did it, but I'm not really sure how else to feel."

"You can be angry. You deserve to be." She says

"I am angry with you Meredith, but I can't yell at you anymore." He says, walking closer to her.

"Why? Yell at me. I deserve it!" She says

"Oh, you do deserve it, but I can't yell at you because if I yell at you, I might hurt you again and I don't want to do that." He says sweetly, sitting in the chair next to her.

"You won't hurt me. Just yell at me if you want to. Come on. I know you want to." She says

"Meredith, I do not want to yell at you." He says

"Yes you do! It's not good to build up all that tension and release it later. Do it now." She says, standing up.

He comes over to her and touches her face. She stands there gazing into his eyes. He leans in to kiss her and she leans to.

The door opened and they backed away from one another.

"Oh. I am sorry. I just came to check on Lilly, but I can come back later." Addison says.

"No, Addison go ahead and checks on her please." Meredith says

Addison nods and checks on her.

"Well, her fever is breaking, which is good, but as you know she will need to stay overnight, just for precaution." She adds

"Off course. She is getting better right? I mean I haven't heard her cough and her breathing is better." Meredith says.

"She is fine." Addison adds.

She nods and Addison walks toward the door.

"I'll be back later to check on her."She says and leaves.

"So, she is okay?" Derek says.

"Yeah. She is okay." Meredith adds to his question. Meredith looked away with tears in her eyes.

"Meredith?"Derek asks

"I'm fine." She says and wipes her eyes.

"No you're not." He says and takes her hand.

"I am."

"What is wrong?" He asks

"It is just. I know she is not going to die, but if I would lose Lilly, I'd be lost." She says

"She is healthy, you know that and I know that." Derek says

She nods.

They both stand there, not saying anything. Finally Meredith spoke

"Derek?"

"Yes?"

"Back when you uh chose Addison over me, why did you?" She asks. This was something she has wanted to know forever.

"Why did I what?"

"Choose her. Why did you pick Addison if you didn't love her?"

He sighs. "Because I loved you."

She looked confused.

"I loved you and I still love you. I love you in that crazy what was it? Hold a radio over my head while it's raining, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, definitely pretend to like your taste of music, but I could never hate you love you because I always just loved you." He says.

**Hello guys!!! I am so incredibly sorry that it took me this long to update. It is a short chapter, but here is something. Please review and let me know what you think. Fourth semester has begun, so it may be awhile until I update again. Sorry. Thanks!**


	8. Chapter 8

"_Derek?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Back when you uh chose Addison over me, why did you?" She asks. This was something she has wanted to know forever._

"_Why did I what?"_

"_Choose her. Why did you pick Addison if you didn't love her?"_

_He sighs. "Because I loved you."_

_She looked confused._

"_I loved you and I still love you. I love you in that crazy what was it? Hold a radio over my head while it's raining, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, definitely pretend to like your taste of music, but I could never hate you love you because I always just loved you." He says._

Meredith gives him a look. "That has got to be the most bogus excuse I have ever heard." She says

"Excuse me?" Derek asks.

"I ask you why you chose another woman over me and your response is because you love me? How could you possibly love me if you chose her? If you love me, you would have chose to be with me and when you found out I left, you would have came after me, doing whatever it took to find me, not stay at home with Addison. I don't believe you. I don't think you really did love me. I just find it very hard to understand, given your reasoning." She says, crossing her arms, waiting for a response.

"I had no idea where you were to begin with, you took off here so fast, I had to find out from your best friend that you moved." He throws back

"Oh please, you act like what I did is so horrible. Okay, sure, it was pretty horrible of me to do, but you knew for about a year or more of my where about and didn't come. Why? Why didn't you come?" She wonders, asking him.

"I already told you!" He says, becoming frustrated.

"And I am not believing it or taking that as an excuse!" She says, raising her voice back

He shakes his head. "You are impossible."

"No, I'm Meredith Grey, mother of Lilly Shepherd, who happens to want to know why the hell you never came after us?!" she yells

"Did you think I would not let you see Lilly? Did you not want to commit to me or Lilly? Did you…" she says, but he cuts her off

"Will you shut up for one minute?!" He says to her

She is taken back by his tone and looks at him.

"This better be good." She says in a cocky tone.

"I didn't come after you because you are Meredith Grey…"

"I.." She goes to start.

"Let me finish." She nods for him to proceed

"I didn't come after you because I wouldn't have been able to stop you from going in the first place, even if I did know, so therefore, how could I possibly go after you and have knocked on your door and told you that I loved you? You wouldn't have believed me. You are Meredith. You believe that bad things are to happen to you, and for some reason, they tend to, but I didn't want to be that bad thing that happened to you. I was married and trying to figure out how to get out of the marriage. I didn't want you to have to deal with it all. I wanted us to be together with a fresh start with no wife in the picture. I wanted to be the man for you. I wanted to come and knock on your door and bring you back here to Seattle in a heartbeat, but like I said before, I didn't want to hurt you because I love you."

She shakes her head at him and can't help but to smile.

"You know, if that is your way of apologizing, you do a pretty good damn job." She says

"Oh know, Dr. Grey. That was not my apology." He says and moves closer to her, wiping a stray hair away from her face. He leans in slowly, kissing her and Meredith found herself giving in, kissing him back, as the kiss became passionate. He placed a hand on her lower back, as the other became tangled in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they continued to make out. They break apart five minutes later.

Meredith was still in his arms and she looked up at him. "How do you do it?" She asks

"Do what?"

"Always manage to sweep me off my feet and make me forget that I am mad at you."

"I..don't…know." He says, kissing her between words.

"mmkay." She says and smiles.

"Did my apology work?" He asks.

She looks at him.

"You are not completely off the hook, but it's a start." She says and he smiles, pecking her lips again.

They look at each other for awhile and then Meredith hears rustling of the sheets and turns around, seeing Lilly awake.

"Hey Princess." She says, leaving Derek's embrace.

"Mommy." Lilly says groggily.

Meredith kisses her head.

"Tummy hurts." Lilly says.

"I know sweetie. Let mommy go see if she can find the doctor, so she can give you some medicine to make it feel better okay?"

Lilly just lays there.

Meredith kisses her again. "I'll be right back."

Meredith goes to leave and Derek grabs her arm.

"Where are you going?" He asks, freaking out that she was going to leave him alone with Lilly.

"I am going to find Lilly's doctor, you know Addison Montgomery, so Lilly can have medicine, I wasn't given any to give her, or I'd do it myself."

"No, I mean why are you leaving me alone with her?" He says, freaking out still.

"Derek. Chill out." She says, touching his face.

"She is two. She won't bite. She is sweet. Sit, talk, mingle." Meredith says and leaves quickly.

"Oh boy." Derek says and walks over to the bed, sitting down on the chair next to Lilly.

"Hi." Derek says to Lilly.

"Hello." Lilly says, putting her thumb in her mouth.

Derek smiles. He looks at her. She really did look a lot like him, but was a splitting image of her mother.

"Who you?" Lilly asks.

"I am uh…I am a doctor. Dr. Shepherd. I am your mommy's friend."

Lilly didn't understand, so she just looked at Derek.

"We are going to do what we can to make you better okay little one?" Derek says.

Meanwhile Meredith had returned with Addison, but they both stopped at the door way, when they saw he was sitting on the chair, talking to Lilly.

"Your doctor is a good doctor and she is going to give you medicine and take care of you, so you aren't sick."

"Okay." Lilly laughs.

Derek smiles and then looks at Lilly again. "I know you might not understand, but I really wanted to come after you. I want to be with you and mommy." He says.

Meredith looks at Addison, who puts her head down.

Addison speaks. "Hey little fighter, let's get you some medicine." She says, entering the room. Meredith following. Addison gives Lilly medicine and then gives Meredith a prescription for the same, so she could get it when she left. Addison then leaves.

It was quiet for awhile.

Meredith finally spoke.

"So, I heard you talking to Lilly." She admits.

"Oh." He says, kind of embarrassed.

"No, no. It's okay. Really. It's a start." Meredith says being supportive.

Derek smiles.

"I think I love her already." He says, referring to Lilly.

"Aw. That's sweet. She is very lovable."

"Like her mother."

Meredith smiles as they both stare at Lilly.

"Meredith?" He asks

"Yeah?" She answers

He stands up, taking her hands in his, looking her in the eyes and says, "Come home."

"What?" She asks.

"To Seattle. Come home. I can buy us a house and have a swing set installed in the backyard with a pool for Lilly. We can be a family and I can start to know Lilly. I can't get to know her if you live in Harrah and I can't hold you in my arms if you are there. I can't bear to be without the two of you anymore. Come home, be my girlfriend again, my family, my heart. Come back to Seattle Grace. Let me be that man that brings you back to Seattle Grace. I want to show you love and a family. Come home." He says.

**ahhhh I think this is the best chapter I have written. I am satisfied with it and I hope you all will be too! I am sooooo sorry that I haven't updated lately. I have been dealing with fourth semester of college, work, and family problems, so I wasn't able to write. I thank you all for your patience and will try to update again ASAP. I apologize for any grammar or spelling. I really need to get a beta reader. Any takers? lol. ENJOY! =]**


	9. Chapter 9

"I..I..don't know if I can do that, Derek." She says

"Why not? I'll take care of you and Lilly. We are both financially stable."

"I'll come with you and help you pack your things. You can tell that hospital you are moving back and then we can start our life. Come on Meredith." He begs.

"Derek, I don't know if I can because I technically have a life there. Lilly does too. It is technically what I know now."

Derek lowers his head. He really wanted to start fresh with her, to show her he had changed and was ready to commit to her.

"You can start fresh, Mer. Chief will be more than happy to have you back here and you know he would." Derek says.

"Derek…"

"We can be a family, Meredith. Let me show you I changed and can commit to you."

"Derek!" She screams, getting his attention.

He finally stops and looks at her.

"This is all too much for me to take in right now. My daughter is here at the hospital and she wasn't supposed to be. I came back here to deal with my mother and we ended up here and now you are giving me an ultimatum, so please let me digest this before go all psycho on my ass." She says

He smiles. "I'm sorry." He says sincerely

"That was wrong of me." He adds

She nods. "Thank you." She says and then she lets go of Derek's hands and sits down beside Lilly.

Derek wasn't sure what to say, so he stood there for awhile. He was about to apologize again, but his pager went off for a code blue.

"I have to go. I'll find you later." He says and runs out of the room.

Meredith lays her head back on the chair and sighs, "Derek."

The next day Meredith was told that Lilly could be taken home. Derek had not come back into the room the night before and Meredith figured he got stuck on a surgery and would come later, but didn't. A part of her wanted to go look for him, so he knew she was leaving the hospital, but she didn't want to run into everyone. She sighed, picked up Lilly's stuffed animals and put them in her bag.

"You ready to get out of here, baby?" Meredith asks Lilly.

Lilly nods at Meredith. She was sleepy and Meredith knew as soon as they got into the car, Lilly would be asleep.

Meredith picked up Lilly, placing her on her hip and threw the bag over her shoulder.

"Let's go, kiddo." She says and walks out the door.

She starts to walk down the hall and notices Addison standing at the front desk filling out papers. Addison turns as Meredith walks by.

Meredith stops and turns back around.

"Addison." She states

Addison looks at her, peering down over her glasses.

"Thank you for helping us." Meredith says

"My pleasure," She smiles.

She nods and turns slightly, but then turns back around.

"Can you uh tell Derek we left?" She asks

Addison only nods and with that Meredith and Lilly left Seattle Grace once again. Meredith took Lilly to the hotel they were staying at and rested the rest of the afternoon. Derek had found out they left without saying goodbye and he was upset; however, this time he didn't know what hotel she was in to go after her, so he had no choice, but to stay put again.

The rest of the week was hectic for Meredith dealing with her mother and her problems. By the end of the week Meredith was glad to be home in Harrah again.

Meredith still had the next day off prior to the day she came home, so she decided to use it as a relaxation day because once she started work again she wouldn't have the chance. She had just put Lilly down for a nap and walked out to the living room where her Harrah best friend was sitting on the couch.

"Hey. You got home late last night I didn't get a chance to talk to you." Meredith says to her friend Carla, who lived with her and Lilly.

"What's up? Spill on the whole Seattle trip," She says to her.

"Well, you know how I said I had to take Lilly to the hospital?"

"Yes. You mentioned in a text and then barely messaged me back about it." Carla added

"Yeah. I'm really sorry. Things just got so hectic with my mother and Derek." She adds.

"Derek?" she questions.

"Oh my God! You ran into him at Seattle Grace didn't you?"

"Yeah." Meredith says in a guilty voice.

"Spill. Tell me everything!" She exclaims.

"Well, I got there and to start off, Addison, Derek's ex wife was Lilly's doctor, so that was a bit uncomfortable. I was trying all I could to avoid Derek while we were there, but that didn't happen. He came in the room and we talked. Short story short, he knew about Lilly all along and we discussed why he didn't come after us. He gave me an ultimatum and asked me to move back to Seattle."

"What!?"

"I probably should mention he kissed me."

"You kissed?!" She asks

"Yeah." She says, biting her lip.

"And what ultimatum?" Carla asks, enthusiasticly

"He asked me to come home. Seattle home. He wants me to move back there and he says he is going to build a house for me a Lilly."

"Oh my God! What did you say?" She asks

"Well, I told him I didn't see how it was possible because my life is here. My job is here, Lilly's school, my best friend." She adds.

She smiles. "As nice as it is here, do you want him back?" she asks.

"Honestly?" Meredith asks

"Honestly" Carla states

"I do. I miss him and I would love to go back to Seattle, but I am just not sure if it is the right thing to do. I mean he sounds so serious when he talks to me about us having a life, but I just don't want to get my heart broken again. You know? I just wish I had a way to know he is serious." Meredith says

"Did you tell him that you need him to show you he is serious?" She asks

"No. I didn't because I knew he would, but it has to more than that. I need him to prove to me that he can that guy and prove he loves me." Meredith says

"If you don't let him in your life, how will you know?"

She shrugs

"I'm just scared Car. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't"

"That's the truth." She says and they laugh.

"I really do want us to work out eventually, so we can be a family. You know for Lilly." Meredith adds.

Carla smiles, "I think you want him for you too."

She nods, "ugh, you know me too well." She says

"Yes. Yes I do." Carla adds and they laugh.

They continue to talk and spend the afternoon watching movies with Lilly.

Later that night, Meredith had just put Lilly to bed and was changing into her own bed clothes. About 10 minutes later she heard a knock on the door. Carla would get it since she was downstairs.

Downstairs Carla did open the door and there stood Derek.

"Hi I am Der…" He starts to introduce yourself

"Derek Shepherd. I know who you are. Meredith has pictures." Carla says

"Oh. Well, is she is here?" He asks.

"Mere, someone is at the door for you!" Carla yells up the stairs.

"Who is it at this hour?" She asks coming down the stairs.

"I am getting ready to go to bed so…" She stops in her tracks when she sees Derek standing there.

Carla excuses herself to her room and leaves them alone.

"What? How? What are you doing here?" She asks.

He smiles at her. "I realized tonight that I made a mistake three years ago by not coming after you when you left. I regretted not doing that. This time I am not going to be an ass and let you get away. I've come after you Meredith. I want you. I need you, but most of all I love you. I…"

Derek was stopped mid rant by Meredith pulling him inside and kissing him.

They pull apart and Derek leans his forehead against hers.

"I am all about moving here if you won't move to Seattle. I am not letting you get away this time." He says


End file.
